yes, this post is dedicated to you baby. you were the first to break my heart, 4 years back. we always said we'd be friends, and it never really materialised right? we never were friends, not even before that whole fiasco and drama between us. it was always look-see-love-hate. (actually, no, i don't hate you now. i might have, then, amidst the many nights i cried myself to sleep. but i definitely don't hate you now.) you put me on a see-saw of emotions, it wasn't much a rollercoaster since it got quite predictable and tiring after awhile.
but that was 4 yrs ago.
4 years on, i've built a wall around my heart. you still have a special little place, and you're still my sunshine. and ironically, we start going out again, something we never got down to doing 4 years ago. i must say, it was enjoyable. i forgot how easily you laugh, and how sweet you can be. i'm not gonna be taken in this time though. no no. the wall is still there. i'll probably never trust you, not with my heart at least. and you lied to me before, a big part of me knows you'll lie to me again if you see the need. but it doesn't change the fact i enjoy your company. very much. and you smell different now. haha..still nice, just different.
so i guess i'm in on a game.
anyways, it's funny how things fall into its own space and time. i was at cathay, waiting for petrina. bought myself a drink at starbucks, bumped into trudi and someone i assume to be her gf. so i sat down and talked to trudi a bit..and realise her gf is a teacher. who quit as soon as she served her bond with moe. so she asked for my alma mater. IJ TP and damn proud of it! haha..and she turns out to have just left IJ last year. she talks me through some stuff..trying not to pass on her disillusionment. haha..so anyways...suddenly she said "are you meeting petrina?" and i say yes, of course. and she tells me, "oh..petrina is right behind you." HAHA..how funny. pet darling looked a little shocked though. i, on the other hand, was deeply amused.
oh yes, i just want to say, i msged charlene in china. kaye says it's sweet. i was worried i'd seem annoying to her. but for that one moment, i gave in to my heart and pressed "send". i realise i seem to give in to my heart a lot. especially with her. my mind's becoming obsolete. kinda sorta maybe.
